Pardon me if you are already aware of this, but I was just stumbling around the ol' intranet and #1- found that Eli Manning's real first name is "Elisha". (From the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports:)"Elisha 'Eli' Manning of New Orleans, Louisiana – Mr. Manning was the number one pick of the 2004 NFL draft. In his first full season of play..." (Note: I dug a little and it turns out that "Elisha" is actually his Pops' Archie's middle name- not sure if runs deeper in the Manning bloodlines)
And #2- On a more important note (actually- maybe not) what the heck is going on with the President's Council on Physical Fitness? Of course, we could debate Scooter Libby's pardoning, or the continued occupation of Iraq, or any of these funny quotes, but the Lefty's blog is a sports blog!
The purpose of this council is as follows: "to recommend programs to the President and the Secretary of Health and Human Services which will encourage nationwide participation in physical fitness, physical activity and sports activities. In making these recommendations, the Council will seek to enhance blahblah blah- who cares. "
The only active athletes that were selected by the President for this council are Elisha and Andy Roddick. I guess I'm okay with Roddick, but if you have two choices to represent physical fitness, you choose Elisha Manning as one of them? Look at the guy.If I'm forming this stupid-ass council, it would be made up of the following five (I figure that -with me making six- this would be a good number for wiffle ball on the White House lawn).
- Tom Brady: Duh. If he says I should run, I believe him. If he says I should bite the head off a dead bat, I'd probably believe him.
- Mark Philippoussis: A way better choice than Andy Roddick. Regardless of who is a better tennis player, Mark's crafty work with the kittens and cougars on NBC's "Age of Love" proves the guy is a fitness expert.
- Peter Gammons: I think an elder statesman in the group would make the council seem more "legit" if we were ever asked about what we actually "did". Gammons is in Cooperstown for being believable.
- Sonya Thomas: We definitely need a woman on our council. I'd add Thomas- the world's greatest female eater. The 99-lb. "Black Widow" once ate 167 chicken wings. Awesome.
- John Daly: The fat chain-smoker could be referred to by the other members of the council as a visual aid. "If you don't stay fit, you'll grow a mullet and look like John here." Plus, I imagine Daly would be fun if the council decided to go to one of Elisha's parties.
Who am I missing? Leave a comment.
4 comments:
Elisha's presence shouldn't be a surprise. Remember, the Govenator, an admitted Steroid user, was head of this council not long ago.
Gammons is probably more fit than anyone else on that list. He wakes up at 5 in the morning to start kicking ass.
Sonya Thomas once ate 10% of her body weight in food.
"The Black Widow" nickname refers to her ability to regularly defeat men four to five times her size.
I like Elisha Cutberth MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH more than Elisha Manning... She is smoking!!!
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